The purpose of a parenting plan is to help parents continue to offer stability and consistency to their child or children while transitioning to and maintaining separate homes. Separation and divorce cause a very profound upheaval in the life of a child. Children need to know that both parents still care about them, and will continue to provide love and support regardless of the new family arrangement.

A parenting plan can be as open or as detailed as required, so long as it is an agreement that will be observed by both parents. It generally includes things like time-sharing (during regular periods and holidays), birthday arrangements, identifying who has responsibility for sick days, school supplies, clothing and handling extracurricular activities. It can also include an agreement concerning religious upbringing and the observance of religious holidays.

Negotiating parental responsibilities in the wake of a separation or divorce can be a very stressful ordeal, and it is advisable to employ the services of a qualified counsellor. The counsellor will recognize that parents often have trouble seeing eye to eye during this difficult period, and will help them focus on the needs of the child. Parents may also miss details that need to be resolved, and a counsellor can help them identify these in advance so they won’t become a problem later.

Creating a parenting plan is an extremely individual process. It is usually done in 1 hour sessions, and can take a few sessions to several weeks, depending on the number and ages of children and the level of communication between the parents. A child’s age will determine the goals and priorities of the plan. Older children can be active participants in the process, but younger children’s needs must be identified and addressed by the parents and the counsellor.

Ultimately, a parenting plan will be the most important thing you can create for your child(ren) after a separation. It will give the child stability and security, and it will help prevent unnecessary conflict in the future.

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